So, I've decided to make a journal entry for EVERY day this summer. Why? Simply to keep myself busy, simply to rid myself of boredom, and simply for pleasure.
Well, let's take a ride this summer...
Day 1:
Although I've been through a lot of tough shit with my parents, never have I felt this disowned in my life. A quick glimpse at me and that's it. "What would you like to eat?" ... end of conversation. I know I've screwed up, I've screwed up a lot actually, but what else can I do? I'm a college student...on the verge of finding happiness. Trying to get somewhere in my life. I feel like I will never be able to satisfy my parents and they'll never be pleased with me. There's honestly nothing that I can, or will, do. Other than my horrendous and awkwardness with my parents, I unpacked, which actually took a lot longer than expected. I didn't realize how much stuff I had until NOW. Not even while I was packing up did I notice. But, one more box to go and I'm all situated...just like the old times.
And last, but definitely not least, this boy.
What is he to me? I don't know.
How does he feel about me? I don't know.
Does he ever want to see me again? I don't know.
... boys. What to do, what to do? I've been talking to him for a week...a little smooching here and there and it seemed like he was interested at first. Now, it's all a jumbled mess. It's like how it always is with boys...NOTHING! We've been texting non-stop for a while and all of sudden, he doesn't text me at all today. Yes, yes.."calm down, drama queen. it's just one day" but if only my heart would run the same pace as my mind. My expectations are very bleak right now and I'm not going to look forward to anything because, well, that never gets me anywhere.
And for now,
adios, hasta la vista baby, sayonara, and until next time:
Yours truly ♥
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